I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
