yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
