I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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