I want to make a zoo with you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
