I want to walk on stilts...naked
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
