everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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