Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
