i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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