Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
