Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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