what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
