it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
