i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
