Duck Duck Cougar?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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