This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sorry about my life...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
