oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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