Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
