smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
