Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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