wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
