; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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