Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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