nut hugger
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there's paper in my vomit.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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