so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
