I just saw a hot homeless man
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
