I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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