yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
