Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
