quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
In America we eat man semen.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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