I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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