She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
