My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
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