My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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