last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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