Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
someone owes me an orgasm
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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