Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize