Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm too high and old for this...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
