Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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