smell my finger.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
