After last night, I could never be a politician.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
