Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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