So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
