how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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