did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
They have beer where we have blood.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
