You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
