i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
