I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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