If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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