lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
