READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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