You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
