I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
