He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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