I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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