I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
