take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
