Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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