So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
