Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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