whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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