It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
